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Mermaid jokes

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mermaid jokes
Mermaids have been the subject and punchline of jokes, gags, and comedy sketches for a long time now. If you are feeling punny today, have some mermaid jokes. Some are good, some are bad, some are just plain truth (if tongue in cheek).

If nothing else, they might enliven the next mermaid event you attend.

Be careful what you wish for

Three guys are having a relaxing day fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish.

One of the guys doesn't believe it, so he says, "Okay, if you can really grant wishes, then double my I.Q." The mermaid says, "Done". Suddenly, the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analyzing it insightfully.

The second guy is so amazed he says to the mermaid, "Triple my I.Q." The mermaid says, "Done". The guy starts to spout all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping all the scientists of varying fields: physics, chemistry, etc.

The last guy is so enthralled with the changes in his friends that he says to the mermaid: "Quintuple my I.Q." The mermaid looks at him and says, "You know, I normally don't try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but I really wish you would reconsider." The guy says, "Nope, I want you to increase my I.Q. by five, and if you don't do it, I won't set you free."

"Please," says the mermaid, "you don't know what you're asking. It will change your entire view on the universe. Won't you ask for something else, a million dollars, anything?"

But no matter what the mermaid said, the guy insisted on having his I.Q. increased by five times its usual power. So the mermaid sighed and said, "Done." And he became a woman.

Mermaids -- the other white fish

A guy walks into a bar with a mermaid slung over his shoulder. He gets a table.

When the waiter comes to take his order, he points to the mermaid and asks, "What wine would you recommend with that?"

Too much fish to fry, not enough woman to love

Two fisherman are in a small boat. Suddenly, one gets a tug on his line. He reels in it to discover he's caught a mermaid.

He hurriedly releases her back into the water.

The other fisherman stares at him in shock and asks, "Why?"

The first fisherman replies, "How?"

One-liners


Tealmermaid's Treasure Grotto
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